You know what I'm referring to: you're stepping jauntily along in the freshly fallen snow that is two Angry Orchards high (out of ALL the photos I have ever posted on Facebook, this has gotten the most likes and comments. And it's not even an original idea, I borrowed it from the internets). Or, in the case of my parent's 8 bottles of homemade beer high. Either way, you enjoying the bright snow and the cold air and then you step too far, too deep and snow fills your boots. If you're lucky, it fills just one boot. And then there is nothing you can do about it except let it surround your ankles and slowly, slowly melt, dripping down your lower calf and soaking through your socks. And you have to walk with it for step after agonizing step.
2. Christmas in February.
I got a package from my parents today, a Valentine's Day package. Quite kind of them, quite kind indeed. What's remarkable about this is not the promise that I was receiving ice cream (I did not) or the inevitable USPS delays in delivering the package (it's ok, USPS, I wouldn't want to get snow in my boots, either. See above). No, what's remarkable is that any package I get from Mom and Dad has Christmas goodies in it! Hot chocolate with a red and green checked ribbon edged in gold. A snowman box with two graham crackers, a bar of Hershey's chocolate, and two hard marshmallows. How do they do it?? How do they manage to find Christmas themed goodies YEAR ROUND? They must have a direct line to Santa. (Spoiler alert: it's leftover Christmas stuff, usually gifted from students, that sits in our cupboard year round.) BUT I STILL LOVE YOU, Mom and Dad. Don't be offended. Also please don't revoke my package receiving privileges.
3. Droopy socks.
I was walking up to yoga with my supervisor a few weeks back and we were chatting and I suddenly said, "you know what makes me irrationally angry? When my socks droop. Like they are now." She politely apologize while I shortened my steps and tried desperately to get my mind of the fact that with every step my socks were being pulled further and further down into my boots. It's like there was a sock monster down at my toes consuming my socks. This is similar to the bunchy sleeves phenomenon, when you pull on a jacket or sweatshirt over your long sleeve shirt and the sleeve bunch up. Heaven help the individual who experiences this.
4. Impolite rodents.
Well, I'm not sure I've ever met a polite rodent, but today I encountered a particularly rude squirrel. Since it's winter, I've been placing my lunch box outside and hour or so before I eat lunch. More than an hour and my carrots freeze and gnawing on frozen carrots is not something I like to do regularly. Putting my lunch outside is not part of an effort to be more eco friendly by boycotting refrigerators. No, this is because I don't want to walk across the way to the lab with a real refrigerator. In that vein, I would like to preface what I am about to say by claiming it is a product of laziness, not stupidity. I opened the door around noon where I'd nestled my lunch in the snow to see a squirrel dart to the far end of the deck. Before I looked down I knew my sandwich had already been enjoyed. Sure enough, the squirrel has chomped through the reusable sandwich bag housing my sandwich (this thing was like backpack grade material), and scraped quite a bit from one half of my sandwich. I looked directly at this squirrel, who was clearly waiting for me to leave so he could continue feasting, picked up my lunch, and walked back inside. Suck on that, Squirrel. So I snapchatted my poor lunch to share with my friends, and then I inspected the other half of the sandwich, deemed it was fine, and ate it. While I ate it, I researched "diseases that squirrels carry" and was relieved to find that unless the squirrel had urinated on my food, or was visiting from South America, I was likely going to be ok. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
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